-Hey Jake,
You know how we like to hang upside down
y'know with our toes, on the beams
in abandoned
warehouses?
How we haven't eaten
in weeks, or slept?
How God
has abandoned us, and every
day I wake up in mortal terror knowing that my suffering is eternal?
what's with that?

-Michael, we're literally vampires.
Shut the **** up and go to sleep.