I don't know what happens when I hurt myself
It is like a big slippery thing comes up my throat
And chokes me
Forcing me to hurt because if I don't
I will explode with pain
And my insides ******* into knots
So that I have to curl into
A sewn together ball of tears
And sweat and
The blood wells to the surface of my skin
But doesn't break it
Because it is only bruises
And the day that the bones stitched into my
Body
Appear behind a paper layer of skin
With the blue veins tracing delicately
Beneath the flesh of wrists and necks
Or should I sat the lack of flesh
And then I won't cry the shivering sobs
Of the midnight hour
With the street lamps shining through my window
And the pendulum clock ticking in the corner
Then I won't shiver myself to sleep anymore