A-N-X-I-E-T-Y The more you think about it, the worse it gets But I can't stop thinking about it Sweat pouring off of me Hands shaking Headaches, dizziness Feeling like every eye is on me Exhausted after a mere hour in the public eye Always checking, far too self-aware A rolling, tossing, turning sea in the pit of my stomach Nervous babble Uncontrollable thoughts Awkward silences Insecure thoughts Nervous nervous nervous nervous Like I want to claw out my own insides just so they'd stop JUMPING SPINNING CRASHING around inside of me. And there's an ever-present twitch in my neck in my eye in my brain Making me tense, ache, twitch, check, check again My whole body, tense and taut, ready for fight or flight flight flight. Ready for flight! Oh how I want to run away.... Away from the eyes that connect to brains that connect to thoughts that make judgments that tell others that then make their own judgments and TEAR MY INSIDES OUT! I just want it to stop. The voices, the thoughts, the fears, the sweat, the tightening muscles... Because I can't live this way for much longer