You're everything I want to be. You have everything I've ever wanted. You live what I want to live and you don't even notice me reaching out to save myself. I'm starting to think you only say you love me because that's what family is supposed to do. But really, you could care less about me now that you're off for two or three days at a time, getting back at 3 a.m. And I couldn't care less if I woke up tomorrow morning or not..
People want to read my life, want to know my life, then you might as well replace me and let me free from always being picked on and teased and underestimated and criticized because of who I love, what I choose to wear and how short I have my hair.

My grandmother said that I was the light of her life but it's because she doesn't have anything really going on in her life anymore. She'll question every little thing about me, and eventually, I'm on the verge of yelling at her to just let it all go and ready to cry..

The words are starting to cut deeper than they ever have before, I'm at a crossroads on my life and all I can go is down to sink to the floor and right now, I just want to stay there for a long time. I haven't cried so hard in my life and if this is misspelled then I'm sorry because I can't see the keys clearly from my tears.. I know most of you who happen to read this, will think, 'oh **** it up, it's nothing.' but it means something to me and it's going to affect my future right now in this moment.

Feeling in the wrong body = Wrong
Wanting to sleep for a few hours = Wrong
Laying out in rain soaked grass = Wrong

I want to try and wake up when everything's a lot more right.