the last scream
the last cry.
shame and self hatred
sink into every crevice and corner of my mind.
i feel hurt and wronged
but you've convinced me that i've got it all wrong.
its a constant battle
between what i feel
and the piercing sting of your uncannily calm words
they feed my demons with a new image of myself
'awful'
'mean'
'hateful'
'wrong'
'unloved'
'disgusting'
as­ i hear your answering machine,
for the last time
and leave my last message
i'm overwhelmed by what i have done
'what have i done?'
and then it hits me
this is the end
end
i've always hated endings
but i think this has to be the worst ending
i think it will be the last ending
for i fear
that at the next beginning
i'll be paralyzed with the memories of all the tragic endings
of my unfinished story,
but who knows
maybe the last ending will be my own.