Dear momma
All things I've ever wanted to say
I never did
And I'm sorry
Countless times I've wished
You were here
Once again
In the artist's apron
A paintbrush in your hand
"I'm going to paint a portrait of myself."
It was never completed
Unfinished
Like my words
I never did complete them
"I love you"
So hard to say
An unnatural force turned into a barrier
Choked me
Even till
When all oxygen left you
When it became past tense
Your lovely eyes turning soulless
Lips that couldn't utter anymore
The word mother
Was suddenly unrelatable
So many nights
I curled up and sobbed
Wishing I had said something
Anything
In everything
I'm waiting for that day again
Mom
For the day I'll be able to say
"I love you so much and I'm sorry."
x