i am a liar
compulsively so
and i only lie to the people i love
the switch turns
only when i want them to pay attention
                                            like the kind of attention that you get when people find you interesting
and it does make me interesting
it makes me stand out
like a streak of gold in mine
like the outer ring of a rainbow on a nicer day
it gives me what i need to move on
and get stronger

but i'm not strong,
i'm weak and i can't move on
and they stopped giving me attention
maybe they stopped loving me
or maybe the inner ring is more vibrant
or maybe i'm just fool's gold
pyrite
a let down

and maybe,
now that i know this about myself,
i can stop lying
and then i'll stop believing them