when I was young
my uncle was so broken
from something his daughter did
that he shot himself in the chest.

he felt that his heart was so hurt
that he should help it to shatter completely
he never once thought that
maybe he could fix the broken pieces
he just took that leap
to not feel broken anymore

I think about that a lot
how maybe someday I could take that leap too
to you know, end my pain and suffering
but then I remember
he’s still living with that pain
how if he moves an inch in the wrong direction
he becomes paralyzed with pain

and then I change my mind
because I would rather
experience this hurt now
than to live with it my entire life