My back against concrete
My eyes searching the night sky
My eyes stinging and wet
Everything is numb
I don’t feel anything anymore
But I feel everything all at once
I don’t know who I am anymore
I don’t know what I want
And it’s terrifying
Handing the reigns over to fate
Trusting it with your whole being
But I can’t do that
I won’t do that
I will ruin it