I never ever .... Felt like this.
Okay maybe I had
But...but
What I feel is indifferent  .
I ask myself , am I lonely?
But I doubt it.
Maybe this is part of growing up.
Being so deep into my thoughts that at times I drown.
I feel scared .
Something is missing .
But what?
What is that my 17 year old mind is missing?
I say mind because it all in my head.  
So maybe it's knowledge.
Knowledge that will make me wiser.
Wise enough to know words and ways of a good writer.
A good person.
A better person I should say..