i know why i love the smell of cigarettes so much.

it is bc it smelled like you.
it is because i miss the times when i got mad at you when you smoked more than five a day.
so now that you left, i cant stop thinking about all the things we did.
so everytime you popped up in my head,
everytime all these memories came back,
i kept thinking of how much i wanted you, how much i loved you.
although i couldnt have you.
but i could have a part of you.
something from you.
i could have the smell of your cigarettes and the thought of them calming you down after a long day.
so everytime you got in my head,
i went ahead and lighted up another, and another cigarette
and then i felt so near you,
almost like you were sitting next to me,
exhaling the whitish smoke i used to hate.

i know why i love the smell of cigarettes so much.