I care too much. About people. All people. The world. I understand too much. I understand why people say the things they do and why they hurt other people so very badly and why they think the way they do. I feel compassion for others no matter what they do. I love too much and too easily and too deeply. I love the world and all of the people in it. I see it so broken and all the things wrong with our world and it HURTS. It hurts so very very badly. There is a hole in my chest that is never filled and all the hurt and hatred and senseless violence, all of the killing and dying and hurting that happens every single day, it hurts. It hurts me so much.
I feel that I have to do something, I have to show people that we are all just people. That yes your neighbor may have a different opinion, or race, or gender, or financial situation, or ****** orientation, or whatever, than you, but in the end, we are all just people.
People, with all our differences and faults and strengths and little nuances and opinions and thoughts and emotions and friends and family and lives, all the things that make us so different from everyone else and all the things that make us the same, in the end, we are all just people. We are all human. We all have thoughts of our own. Feelings of our own. Lives of our own that others may come in and out of but where we ourselves are the only constant. We are the only ones who have lived our whole lives. We are the only ones who could ever explain why we hate a certain song or food or place or group or person. We are the only ones with the memories that trigger emotions. Some that we'd rather forget. Some that we avoid like a raging bear. Others that we smile at. Others that we seek. Others that we find reasons and people to remember.
All of the complications. All of the factors. All of the thoughts and experiences and feelings and indoctrination from wherever is what makes us the way we are. All the input from different times in our lives, all the lessons we've learned, we put together into one big patchwork quilt of OUR life. And that's the way we live.
But don't you see? This is all fine and good. Except when the hate starts. Someone is outside of the box of someone's life, someone violates all the rules they've learned to live by, and then all of a sudden everything goes wrong.
People get hurt. People die. People **** themselves. One person hurts another and beats them down and drags them through the dirt and makes them believe the horrible things about themselves things they are told. Their dreams get crushed. They become broken. So broken they feel that they can never get fixed. Can never get better. All of a sudden each and every one of us is completely alone, with no one who cares enough to pull us out of the hole we've been thrown in. And there we are. Lying broken on the ground in the mud and **** and the blood, screaming our pain, but there is no one there to hear us but the empty wasteland.
Everyday it's the same. For some of us the pain never ends. For some of us it is too much to handle. Some of us give up, for we see no other way out. Why live when no one wants you there? Why stay when you are told every single day that the world would be better with you gone, and the very person of you is WRONG?
CAN'T WE SEE WHAT WE DO TO OURSELVES?! CAN'T WE SEE THE PROBLEM IS NOT WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND HOW THEY ARE, BUT WITHIN OUR OWN HEARTS AND MINDS?! WHY DON'T WE CHANGE IT! WHY DON'T WE OPEN OUR EYES! ARE WE JUST TOO APATHETIC AND CAUGHT UP IN OUR OWN ******** THAT WE JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE'S PAIN?!
It can all so easily be stopped. If we could stop focusing on ourselves and start to focus on other people, on the world around us, on the way we treat others, on other's rights instead of our own, don't you think the world would be a better place? Don't you think people wouldn't die in the night, bleeding out onto their bed, alone in the darkness, and have it on the news the next morning, just another teen suicide? Does anyone who sees those news reports ever cry for the young life they never knew, and now never will know? Does anyone ever wonder what their life was like, that would drive them to suicide?
We like to be blind. We like to pretend that children aren't ***** and abused every day. We like to think that kids aren't dying by the hundreds because we are too fat and lazy to care. We like to think that girls are prostitutes because they're ***** and ****** and chose that lifestyle. We like to think that the safe little bubble around us is the only thing that exists. We like to ignore the fact that six year old kids are forced to **** their own people and families in war. We like to fool ourselves into thinking that war is justified and that thought the loss of life is terrible, the end validates the means.
The world is so broken and twisted, and we are the ones who made it this way. We are the only ones who can fix it. If we could learn to love instead of hate, if we could learn to accept instead of reject, if we could learn to understand instead of judge, if we could help instead of ignore, if we could all do our best to make the whole world, and not just our world, a better place, then perhaps we would have the right to call ourselves "civilized", and "progressive".
Could we all just understand, everyone is human. Everyone is a person too.