Every day I wonder where this life is going to take me. The path that I’m on. Is it going to mislead me? 3:00 P.M. every day got the best of me. My anxiety ate me from the inside out. But three and a half months in my devotion got me a promotion. Ain’t hanging my body over the heat of the press. I watch these people as they slave away. So glad I ain’t got no more physical ******* distress. Will I be able to do it? Or will I fail again? Everyone’s so proud, so happy for me. Looked at as an upper hand but hell I don’t feel like it. Standing behind a computer all day. Yeah, that’s what I do. Better than I had it but so afraid I’ll be a failure like before. Weekends are gone. No more fun. No more you. No more family or friends. 12 hour days, yeah. Off all week. The hell will I do with my time? Will I succeed at making more money on the side? Or will I give it all up? I want to work from home but to be home almost seems impossible. Crossing my fingers. I have to push myself harder. Stop being afraid girl. Just go. Just do your best. In time you will figure out the rest. That’s what I tell myself. Wish I could see the future. Where I am at? Am I too critical of myself? I just want to be the best. Ain’t got time to sit around and watch the rest. Praying this works out but it’s out of my control. Whether it will or won’t I guess I’ll find out in good time. For now, I got to stand up and try to lead the nest.