A whisper in the wind;
a butterfly soaring too close to my face;
a penny in an impossible place.

I feel you beside me with every breath
I take, every time I move, every blink.

Yet I question your existence beyond
existence, I struggle to fully accept
that this isn't just my overactive imagination.

I never got to say goodbye, and maybe
that's why I don't utter those two syllables
anymore--I missed my chance.

"I wish it had been me"
"I could have prevented it"
Shameful thoughts, yet they exist
just the same.

I'll never have the strength to listen
to that final call; I know the last
words but not the fleeting thoughts.

"Hold on and pray"
either ironic or powerful,
however you choose to look at it.

Did you spend your last moments
praying to someone that would let
you down? Or did you just
cry out for help?

Did He save you? Or is that what
we tell ourselves to stay sane?

Even when I tell myself the best,
there's no chasing away this insanity.

I yearn for your comfort.

I'm not praying right now,
(I don't anymore)
I'm crying out for help.