Sometimes I forget in the moment that at the end of the day when I've spent every spare minute trying to distract myself with another human, I will feel the most empty I've ever felt, even more than the day before.

Sometimes I feel like I'm living in groundhog day,
But not the one with the warm kiss at the end where the people leave connected and have learned how to love again.

It's always the one where I just end up smaller than I used to be, and I can never make enough noise so that the person next to me actually hears it.

I wake up every morning saying there is worth here somewhere in this body and it takes only hours for me to have fully rejected that ridiculous notion that somehow I could have ever been of value.