Aug 2013
"It gets better"
"You'll be fine"
"This too shall pass"
I've heard It all and the list doesn't end, but that they don't tell you is:
it's not true
And maybe Its not true because their pain was different
Or maybe they didn't have pain at all
But for you to look me in the eyes and tell me "Children in dying in Africa" like I don't know that
And for some reason that's supposed to make the pain infused in my veins, pulsing through every inch of me just go away?
Because it didn't.
And does that make me an awful person? To know there are those less fortunate then I but I still continue to rot from the inside?
I may not know their pain but I know what pain feels like.
I come from a broken home, substances being abused.
Angry words thrown around like snow ***** on a cold winter night.
It was like our family was on maximum volume but I couldn't find the mute button.
My personal items were sold for my brothers drug addictions and I was blamed for not hiding it well.enough.
My fathers girlfriend refused to let me see him yet I continued to plaster a smile on my face because it's what you all wanted to see.
Ans then I lost the only thing that made me feel again. My lover committed suicide.
The only parts in me living died and I was lost.
And then I'm forces to go to school with kids who's life ends three times a week.
Because the wrong boy asked them to prom or they didn't get backstage passes to their favourite band.
And still I expected to be happy and I'm selfish if I'm not.
Well then call me selfish.
Because I refuse to lie to myself.
This world Is a **** hole that we all gave into.
We marry to get divorced and we have kids That will ultimately hate us. We buy by things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we dont like and for what?
And understanding this all I'm still expected to smile and accept what has happened.
I don't think we get cancer to learn life lessons
Or that people die young because god needs another angel
Because thats excuses for why our world is a mess
And I wish I could be like you all and follow these excuses aswell but I can't.
I see the truth and that what will **** me.
"You'll be fine"
"This too shall pass"
I've heard It all and the list doesn't end, but that they don't tell you is:
it's not true
And maybe Its not true because their pain was different
Or maybe they didn't have pain at all
But for you to look me in the eyes and tell me "Children in dying in Africa" like I don't know that
And for some reason that's supposed to make the pain infused in my veins, pulsing through every inch of me just go away?
Because it didn't.
And does that make me an awful person? To know there are those less fortunate then I but I still continue to rot from the inside?
I may not know their pain but I know what pain feels like.
I come from a broken home, substances being abused.
Angry words thrown around like snow ***** on a cold winter night.
It was like our family was on maximum volume but I couldn't find the mute button.
My personal items were sold for my brothers drug addictions and I was blamed for not hiding it well.enough.
My fathers girlfriend refused to let me see him yet I continued to plaster a smile on my face because it's what you all wanted to see.
Ans then I lost the only thing that made me feel again. My lover committed suicide.
The only parts in me living died and I was lost.
And then I'm forces to go to school with kids who's life ends three times a week.
Because the wrong boy asked them to prom or they didn't get backstage passes to their favourite band.
And still I expected to be happy and I'm selfish if I'm not.
Well then call me selfish.
Because I refuse to lie to myself.
This world Is a **** hole that we all gave into.
We marry to get divorced and we have kids That will ultimately hate us. We buy by things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we dont like and for what?
And understanding this all I'm still expected to smile and accept what has happened.
I don't think we get cancer to learn life lessons
Or that people die young because god needs another angel
Because thats excuses for why our world is a mess
And I wish I could be like you all and follow these excuses aswell but I can't.
I see the truth and that what will **** me.
