May 2021
Right person, wrong time.
All of the things I wish I could’ve told you.
From the minute I met you, I knew I would love you for the rest of my life.
Sitting up on that hill with you,
In the dusk,
The summer warmth still lingering.
Looking at you that day, I just knew you were my person.
It broke my heart how little time we had together.
I cried in the car on the way home,
Mourning what could’ve been.
A few days later,
After sleepless nights and crying until my body was bone-dry and numb,
My phone screen lit up.
It was you.
My heart flew into my throat and I froze.
You went out of your way to find me,
And I guess you felt the same as I did in that moment of your life.
We spoke day and night,
You were all I wanted to pay attention to for such a long time.
Waiting for you at the train station that day was the most scared I have ever been in my life.
As soon as you came up to me and enveloped me in your arms,
Everything melted away.
I was home.
I could’ve spent all day with you,
Talking to you,
Kissing you,
Just watching you.
Trying to entrain every part of your being into my brain,
As to not forget a thing.
When you shouted from the train that you love me as you were leaving,
Everything came crashing down again.
You were leaving me,
And I couldn’t handle it.
I was young and I was stupid and I was hurting because I couldn’t be with you,
So I began to self destruct.
I pushed you away and I hurt you so you would leave me on your own accord.
In the process,
I hurt you more than I ever wished,
And I regret that every day.
I wish I could’ve held on,
I wish I couldn’t pulled myself together for you and made it work,
Because it would’ve been so worth it.
But I was weak
And I broke.
I love you,
I have since the minute I met you,
And I will forever.
Being alone scares me,
But what scares me more is the thought that I may never get the chance to love you like you always deserved.
I will always be here, quietly supporting you and rooting for you to find your happiness,
I just hope that one day I can share that happiness with you.
Not a day passes where you don’t cross my mind.
All my love, forever.
23.10.2015 - ♾
- L
All of the things I wish I could’ve told you.
From the minute I met you, I knew I would love you for the rest of my life.
Sitting up on that hill with you,
In the dusk,
The summer warmth still lingering.
Looking at you that day, I just knew you were my person.
It broke my heart how little time we had together.
I cried in the car on the way home,
Mourning what could’ve been.
A few days later,
After sleepless nights and crying until my body was bone-dry and numb,
My phone screen lit up.
It was you.
My heart flew into my throat and I froze.
You went out of your way to find me,
And I guess you felt the same as I did in that moment of your life.
We spoke day and night,
You were all I wanted to pay attention to for such a long time.
Waiting for you at the train station that day was the most scared I have ever been in my life.
As soon as you came up to me and enveloped me in your arms,
Everything melted away.
I was home.
I could’ve spent all day with you,
Talking to you,
Kissing you,
Just watching you.
Trying to entrain every part of your being into my brain,
As to not forget a thing.
When you shouted from the train that you love me as you were leaving,
Everything came crashing down again.
You were leaving me,
And I couldn’t handle it.
I was young and I was stupid and I was hurting because I couldn’t be with you,
So I began to self destruct.
I pushed you away and I hurt you so you would leave me on your own accord.
In the process,
I hurt you more than I ever wished,
And I regret that every day.
I wish I could’ve held on,
I wish I couldn’t pulled myself together for you and made it work,
Because it would’ve been so worth it.
But I was weak
And I broke.
I love you,
I have since the minute I met you,
And I will forever.
Being alone scares me,
But what scares me more is the thought that I may never get the chance to love you like you always deserved.
I will always be here, quietly supporting you and rooting for you to find your happiness,
I just hope that one day I can share that happiness with you.
Not a day passes where you don’t cross my mind.
All my love, forever.
23.10.2015 - ♾
- L
