And since we want to play the blame game
Call my name
For the girl I fell for but couldn’t stay the same
I know she hates me
The thought alone leaves me shaky
To be transparent it breaks me
To know I’ll never land safely

How could I face you , you’d never understand
That when I look at you I can’t let go but the friendship dangles in the other hand

You call me a coward you see me as fraud
For me not crying over you my friends see and applaud
But I know my silence from you was met with a disappointed nod

The many times you reached out
The times I knew the answer but the words couldn’t leave my mouth
The times I hesitated cause I knew the conversation would go south

Or maybe I was afraid
Cause between your words and actions a decision couldn’t be made

If only you knew the nights I cried
And I seen you in my dreams and asked god why

The Torment in my mind
Wishing I never seen you cause it only led to a ticking bomb of time

Questioning if I should reach out
But knowing it’s too late cause she has to hate me now

I still love you couldn’t hate you if I tried
And through everything you did I still see myself as the bad guy

I can’t let you go
I keep loosing control
I reach out, erase the message more times than you’ll even know
I can’t muster up the courage to tell myself no

What you did do
What you didn’t do
Wishing I could’ve been open enough to tell you
Cause now everything I hear, see, smell is blue
And this sadness was never new
But it was my first time feeling it about you

I should’ve kept my mouth closed knowing it would crash in the end
Not only did I break my own heart but I lost you as a friend

Maybe now I can let it go .. but it depends