anxiety is like yarn
if you use the stress well
you can make a beautiful scarf
but for me
i can’t knit, crochet or macrame
my yarn gets knots and bumps
gets unwound
until it is a mess
that doesn’t even look like yarn

that horrible breathless feeling changes me
it starts in my gut
and feels like the buzz
of a hundred fireflies
i become panicked
not myself
and my alter ego takes over

alter-me is rude, crass, and bossy
the lack of control over the yarn
knots it tighter and tighter
spiralling
down
down
down

looking up from the pit
a light shines
reminds me there’s hope
but like being trapped in a hole
you have to climb out on your own

maybe that’s why i’ve always been alone
i’m used to being my own hero
i’m no princess in a tower
her prince galloping to her side
i build my own ladder
one rung at a time
and save myself