her eyes were the colour of a frosted window pane
her hair the colour of a fawn
her smile though gapped could light up a room

she was my best friend
then my crush
then my lover
then the breaker of my heart

i tried to be complete enough for her
but i always lacked a part
a puzzle missing pieces

the girl’s name was Sophia
no, not my girl
the other girl
the prettier girl
the more exciting girl
the girl with more time than i

wasting myself thin balancing a tottering pile
of chores and needs
never enough for anyone
let alone myself

sometimes when it rains my heart pangs like an old injury
a sunken, desperate feeling
like the world has frozen over
like waking up alone
like being the only unhappy person in the room