Apr 2021
•Poem: 'c'est la vie' & Goodbye• by t.day★•
I Would Hold my tongue
If I could see past it
But the lies
Created by my mind
Trip my eyeballs all up
So I can’t even see
So I can’t even speak
Got me falling
Trippin all up
Like cats under feet
Down life’s stairs
I smash loud
Why would I ever
Carefully ******* creep?!
I’m droppin
My stomach flip floppin
My heart
It’s always been calling
Your name
But you don’t want to hear
Found I Can’t
Correctly use my mouth
So to speak
When your near
So to see
Zipper mouth
Shut
Tongue tied
All knotted
Twisted and *******
Can’t say a word
If I wanted
Blinded myself
From the truth
Can’t even speak a thing
Your face
In the pocket
Of my mind’s eye
Your ghost
Haunts my
My internal memory banks
It’s a thing!
You’ve been filed
under category
‘What used to be’!
Silence so loud
Didn’t know it could scream!
Causing us
to go numb
To go dumb
Come all undone
Can’t feel a **** thing
Can’t even sleep
So I can’t even dream you
I’m all tangled up
Like legs
Caught up in bed sheets
My mind
Pushy
Obnoxious
Sometimes straight up
Just Mean
On the flip side
It’s such a seemingly passive
Pushover thing
I’m too much again
It would seem
Confliction
Might be the one trait
I lack in the most
Won’t you psychoanalyze that
If you please
Dissect the hell out of
All of my
****** up bent pieces
Tell me why
I’m so loudly and
Annoyingly me!
I’m here
Splayed out wide
before you
Vivisected
Laid open all neat
And all clean
My body an offering
Decorating your alter
Get down on your knees
Send up loves prayer
Maybe this is what religion ought to be can be
Can’t help it
My heart always on my sleeve
There’s a war playing out
Just under my skin
Down the hall and
round my mind’s bend
In hollowed out corners
And emptied out
rooms and chambers
Just under my ribs
Where my heart used to beat
And the most bazar and puzzling thing
I don’t have a clue just which side to cheer for
Since I occupy
Both opposing sides of the line
Who wins?
And what for?
My life seems like a charade
Everyone in it just acting and
Here I ******* go once again asking
Is any if this **** even real
Or maybe another nightmareish dream on repeat?
Cause it all seems so put on
Poorly faked!
Absolutely bogus
And staged!
It’s got no emotional depth
No life like texture
To taste!
Can you live on empty
Never sated and full?
Can you thrive and prosper
Surviving on scraps of what’s left over,
Feeding only on pain?
It’s thick all around us can you catch it’s taste
Thick on the stale breeze
Choking off what we need
A new beginning
A fresh seed
Flash out
In a haze
Left in a daze
You’ll find
Out quite quickly
I’m no easy catch
I’m not one easy
To please
To handle
Or swallow
A reality you don’t belong to0
I come with an aftertaste
Bitter at best
An acquired taste it would seem
I’m all sharp edges
Lacerating down the long way
Every failed attempt
TO cage me
Make me compliment
Docile
And trained
Blows up in their face
I run hard
For what’s mine
Working double time
To make that extra dime
I go that extra mile
What I run for
What I’m after
And seek
Can’t be bribed
Can’t be bought
You see the truth
In my words here today
Some things
You must be born with
Some things can not be taught
A real one
Comes real
You can see it
By the way that they move
Just by they way that they walk
And I got that ****
They can’t teach
If you get what I mean
If you don’t you
Won’t know
Can’t Catch you up
Surely the ending
has got to be quick
I don’t think it’s normal
For a soul
To be this *******
Sick
Jaded they say,
Nah I’m more raw
My too thin skin has been
Effectively worn through to my bones
I can’t win
For losing
That much is clear
I shut my eye’s
All the world drops dead
I think I made you
Up inside my head
Reality is quite clearly
Not my friend
I’ve been force feeding
Myself your poison love again
Failure to launch
I never did quite begin
The truth is life has emptied me
I began dying off inside
From my start
I gag up the words
They tried to
beat into my head
Verbatimly
Reciting the lies
Line by line
“I’m fine”
Without so much as a blink
Of my vacant dead eye
Not a cringe
or a flinch
Can’t let on
Not one bit
That I’ve taken the lead
Headed for the big win
I’m not one to be controlled
They lost the tug of war like event
Of my soul
They lost the battle
The war
And they don’t even yet see it
Or know
My heart’s a rotted out apple
I’m All hollow and cored
Your hands around it
Applying more pressure
More stress
I mistook that feeling
For love
That’s where I left it
To rest
It loves your mess
For some reason the best
So I guess
it will always be yours
I shut my eyes
All the world drops dead
I lift my lids
The nightmare begins once again
I’m trapped by your memory
Your ghost haunts my mind
With no ending in sight
'c'est la vie'
& Goodbye
Such is life.
t.day
★
©
I Would Hold my tongue
If I could see past it
But the lies
Created by my mind
Trip my eyeballs all up
So I can’t even see
So I can’t even speak
Got me falling
Trippin all up
Like cats under feet
Down life’s stairs
I smash loud
Why would I ever
Carefully ******* creep?!
I’m droppin
My stomach flip floppin
My heart
It’s always been calling
Your name
But you don’t want to hear
Found I Can’t
Correctly use my mouth
So to speak
When your near
So to see
Zipper mouth
Shut
Tongue tied
All knotted
Twisted and *******
Can’t say a word
If I wanted
Blinded myself
From the truth
Can’t even speak a thing
Your face
In the pocket
Of my mind’s eye
Your ghost
Haunts my
My internal memory banks
It’s a thing!
You’ve been filed
under category
‘What used to be’!
Silence so loud
Didn’t know it could scream!
Causing us
to go numb
To go dumb
Come all undone
Can’t feel a **** thing
Can’t even sleep
So I can’t even dream you
I’m all tangled up
Like legs
Caught up in bed sheets
My mind
Pushy
Obnoxious
Sometimes straight up
Just Mean
On the flip side
It’s such a seemingly passive
Pushover thing
I’m too much again
It would seem
Confliction
Might be the one trait
I lack in the most
Won’t you psychoanalyze that
If you please
Dissect the hell out of
All of my
****** up bent pieces
Tell me why
I’m so loudly and
Annoyingly me!
I’m here
Splayed out wide
before you
Vivisected
Laid open all neat
And all clean
My body an offering
Decorating your alter
Get down on your knees
Send up loves prayer
Maybe this is what religion ought to be can be
Can’t help it
My heart always on my sleeve
There’s a war playing out
Just under my skin
Down the hall and
round my mind’s bend
In hollowed out corners
And emptied out
rooms and chambers
Just under my ribs
Where my heart used to beat
And the most bazar and puzzling thing
I don’t have a clue just which side to cheer for
Since I occupy
Both opposing sides of the line
Who wins?
And what for?
My life seems like a charade
Everyone in it just acting and
Here I ******* go once again asking
Is any if this **** even real
Or maybe another nightmareish dream on repeat?
Cause it all seems so put on
Poorly faked!
Absolutely bogus
And staged!
It’s got no emotional depth
No life like texture
To taste!
Can you live on empty
Never sated and full?
Can you thrive and prosper
Surviving on scraps of what’s left over,
Feeding only on pain?
It’s thick all around us can you catch it’s taste
Thick on the stale breeze
Choking off what we need
A new beginning
A fresh seed
Flash out
In a haze
Left in a daze
You’ll find
Out quite quickly
I’m no easy catch
I’m not one easy
To please
To handle
Or swallow
A reality you don’t belong to0
I come with an aftertaste
Bitter at best
An acquired taste it would seem
I’m all sharp edges
Lacerating down the long way
Every failed attempt
TO cage me
Make me compliment
Docile
And trained
Blows up in their face
I run hard
For what’s mine
Working double time
To make that extra dime
I go that extra mile
What I run for
What I’m after
And seek
Can’t be bribed
Can’t be bought
You see the truth
In my words here today
Some things
You must be born with
Some things can not be taught
A real one
Comes real
You can see it
By the way that they move
Just by they way that they walk
And I got that ****
They can’t teach
If you get what I mean
If you don’t you
Won’t know
Can’t Catch you up
Surely the ending
has got to be quick
I don’t think it’s normal
For a soul
To be this *******
Sick
Jaded they say,
Nah I’m more raw
My too thin skin has been
Effectively worn through to my bones
I can’t win
For losing
That much is clear
I shut my eye’s
All the world drops dead
I think I made you
Up inside my head
Reality is quite clearly
Not my friend
I’ve been force feeding
Myself your poison love again
Failure to launch
I never did quite begin
The truth is life has emptied me
I began dying off inside
From my start
I gag up the words
They tried to
beat into my head
Verbatimly
Reciting the lies
Line by line
“I’m fine”
Without so much as a blink
Of my vacant dead eye
Not a cringe
or a flinch
Can’t let on
Not one bit
That I’ve taken the lead
Headed for the big win
I’m not one to be controlled
They lost the tug of war like event
Of my soul
They lost the battle
The war
And they don’t even yet see it
Or know
My heart’s a rotted out apple
I’m All hollow and cored
Your hands around it
Applying more pressure
More stress
I mistook that feeling
For love
That’s where I left it
To rest
It loves your mess
For some reason the best
So I guess
it will always be yours
I shut my eyes
All the world drops dead
I lift my lids
The nightmare begins once again
I’m trapped by your memory
Your ghost haunts my mind
With no ending in sight
'c'est la vie'
& Goodbye
Such is life.
t.day
★
©
