I pull myself up to the back window knowing she can't see me at night
I watch her change, her body is fat and ugly
her thighs are too big and her acne is scaring not just to her skin
but I still watch letting myself hate every inch of her body

I walk around the house to stalk the front window
she has her makeup on
I hate her a little less but I can hear her mother reminding me of her ugly
mum tells her to change she looks like a little boy and not how mum imagines her to be

I run to the left side of the house here she smiles on the phone with her friends
pretending the world doesn't exist
her laugh is still so ugly too loud and too girly for me
her friends don't mean to but they remind her of what she has to hide
what she is forced to be quite for

I dash to the right window
here I can barely see her through the blurry pain
she's crying an ugly cry
she holding the side of her head, the side her mum hit
she doesn't cry with sound her voice would only make her want to die more
she starves herself in hope that her empty stomach will replace her empty smile

I hate her
I hate her
I hate her

I hate myself