On a Sunday afternoon, in the city,
I sat on your porch watching,
a panicked papillon dance about
(that means butterfly in French, boo)

You were running back & forth
Smiling, slamming doors & saying
it’s hot, but I sweat through
& I said, good ‘cause I like *****


So you ride your bike & keep a garden
but you don’t put your money in the bank
& I think that’s quite foolish
what about inflation my dear?

so you love cheese but you don’t drink milk
& you won’t ever fall in love
because you reckon you’d get too fed-up
with their complexities & mazes

well me neither I said, but
you stole those words from my mouth
& I have a hard time believing you
when “baby" seems to be your favorite word

You’re always saying the things I expect
& it’s what I’ve always wanted to hear
yet the simplicity is suffocating
& I’m somehow just as easy as you

& last night, when we were lying
in your room, on a bare mattress
Under the heat, I wondered if the words
pathetic,easy & empty circled your mind too

I wondered if you wondered why
we were already using terms of endearment,
why they came without effort or care, or
why we laugh & lock eyes in a week’s time

And you said you never sang aloud,
but in a moment I heard your voice tracing lyrics
& I said that’s really quite sad
& you said it’s only emotions; count yourself among the few

What an honor, what a privilege
I thought maybe we’re both lying to ourselves
& maybe you feel kinda lonely too
only because I’ve said the same before

You said I noticed that you
don’t listen to me when I speak
but then again you’re always telling stories
and I am but a woman & you are but a man

I thought I’d want to touch your feet
You reached out to hold my hand
But there’ll be distance to maintain &
I know better than to get any closer

We split asleep, turning our backs
towards mirroring walls, space enough
I dreamt I lost a lung & when I awoke
we were tangled up like ivy on ruins

This paradox ****** my mind
& I’ve been silent ever since I left you,
standing on the sidewalk
with cold coffee in your hands

*When do you leave, again?
Soon, soon enough.
Good, good, get excited.
The city is melting but I’ll see you soon