angels fall like fireworks sizzling crackling-divinity sparking on skin-burning brightly as i held him tightly as i held him as if i’d die if he would let go
he let go
and i fell, falling like a shooting star silently screaming as my splayed heart strangely kept beating “i love you, aziraphale and all that you are” and my love looked down and i saw him weep (for me for me! Because of me) i saw the tears from all his eyes run down his face into the sky as he told me “you and i, all that we are, i will find you again no matter how far away you land a thud on the sand a splash in the sea i’ll find you again please! wait for me”
i fell and angels all around me screamed out their dying cries i fell and thought the fire all around me was surely nothing but lies i fell and saw all around me it was better to be ignorant than wise i fell and the stars all around me fell too, falling through the skies
i fell but i could not stop watching his eyes those endlessly seeing Throughout all my being brilliantly ****** eyes
and i thought to myself what else could i possibly want to see then his eyes crying for me why would i want to see my life without him a life with no hand in mine a life spent twisting my spine a life with wings bound in twine a life with no sign of the Divine
oh MOTHER why would you do this why must you cast me away i’d beg and i’d barter (don’t make me a martyr!) anything for a chance to stay
oh mother doesn’t listen oh mother doesn’t care oh mother i cry out; my tears glisten oh mother are you there?
no one is there and i’m all alone and sometimes i wish i was made of stone or better yet, a galaxy -brilliant and bold- no pain to be had, no story to be told just light all round me light from the burning, turning sun
the sun, the sun it glows so bright it feels warm, like a hug from him (so tight!) so golden, so glittering so molten, so obliterating so like his countless tears
what is there for me to look for? what is there for me to find? the battle is over; they won the war and i'm lost to him for all of time
oh sun please don’t listen oh sun please don’t care i cry out as my tears glisten oh sun please just be there
burn my eyes black and haunted burn them like these wings, undaunted by the tar upon them
destroy my eyes so completely so the only thing that can run so fleetly through my mind is his eyes weeping so sweetly as She casts me out and the kingdom is restored so neatly
burn them black, i tell you burn them like i fell, oh hell, you! burn them crisp, oh i smell you! oh sun, you lovely ball of fire grant me this, my one desire make me blind so all i see is him weeping for me
…
it did not work sun, you failed me
they are not black and haunted they are not blind and bleeding they are sickly, ickly yellow and somehow always needing to see him again