I lie awake at night
thinking of the past, the current, the future.
the “what if”s the “had been”s
each choice I made at each fork in the road
the loves and losses and lessons learned.
I mouth the words I dream of speaking,
feel the tears I cannot cry.
tossing and turning my body fights back
for all the times I didn’t object.
my heart struggles to remember
how we made it.
why we’re here.
I lie awake at night
bars of music crashing into assignments
above angry undertones a tragic melody
darkness traps my mind in consciousness
I know I think too much
“Let go. Let’s sleep”