my old bedroom window
past the trees, where i laid on dead grass and had my first kiss
we'd sit on my desk with a pillow from my bed
my makeup done, i'd smoke a cigarette

i'd ride my bike on cobblestone
when we'd take the bus, and he'd walk me home
i'd see my own reflection as i ride by a shop window
its late at night

still 17, sweet beauty queen
if i recall, i was just as mean
i'd wear fishnet tights,
give him a kiss on the cheek,
end scene.

now i'm only half a person
now i'm only half alive
now if i can bear to adore myself, i'm a fool for staying inside
if it doesn't get cold in november
if a sunny day breaks my heart
i could go back to that party?
how things were
how things are

i stare at the skyline
i stare at my hands
i stare at a city i don't understand
a place i can't trust, but its familiar too?
a place that i hate, because it belongs to you

i ride my bike on a soulless road
get homesick for places i'd never call home
i see the same reflection as i ride by
the same sad girl with the same sad eyes