jardin d'amour perdu

There is a question that lingers in my mind
Because a month ago you were mine
A text that said
Good morning love
that I saw as I lay in bed
I thought about our first Valentine’s Day,
Only weeks away

And it made me smile
So I got up, looked in the mirror, told myself I’m fine
So when I got there, I recognized in your eye
How you wouldn’t look in mine
You introduced me to another friend, a cordial greeting and a smile
A tell in the way you leaned; tells me to leave,
Followed by a wave
And a walk away

The end of the week comes
But no Good morning love’s
And so I send
I’m scared you’re upset
Are you ok?
I hope you’re alright
My chest is sunken in, I feel you spreading further away
A future we planted in our heads,
A house in a French suburb
Our lives intertwined, you and I

And like a computer, you say
Thanks for checking in.
And I read
I’m sorry.
I haven’t loved you since the summer.
And that’s all you said.

You had said you were mine...
And that’s when I realized
the house was in my head,
The city of braided love that emerged from your mouth
that roosted in my heart
Was counterfeit

A crown of Ivy turned to brambles
And then I knew what it felt like
To be a naive gardener

To give all your water to a vine,
It wraps around your heart,
Through your waterless haze,
you see it,
Fruit in your mind,
an illusion of reimbursement
You give everything
But no fruit is there

four months it drinks from you,
when you believe
I love you
Again and again,
you let her seize you

I let her use me.

When you realize,
It’s too late.
You’re waking up in an empty field, caked in mud,
And she is gone

She was never mine,
but I was hers.


Andrew W
2-13-21