His daughter was annoyed nay angry at both him and me. She blurted out: "He never talks of the war...never tells us anything...yet he tells a stranger like you everything.!" He started crying and told her it was easier to tell a stranger and not a daughter who was only a baby when he left...the terrible things he saw...the terrible things he done. He saw monstrous things and he didn't want her to think of him as the monster he had to be to survive...to live only in the moment and try to survive the next moment and to leave his humanity aside. He said it was all about trying to stay alive or in a single piece at least and to get back to his baby and to see her grown up to be the woman she was now. He was very angry at the first man he had to **** because the German had tried to **** him and so stop him from forever coming home. He shot the German over and over in the face and had to be pulled away from him by his mates. Once he had killed it became second nature and he hated that...hated himself. He kept on repeating: "I have seen terrible things...I have done terrible things!"