There once was this man a dried up old prune Who’d sit there at night staring up at the moon Out there each evening in his big rocking chair. As the wind blew through his thinning white hair He would think about life and play his guitar And drink bootleg whiskey from an old jelly jar And sometimes the old man wished he was dead. For he was so lonely because he never wed He’d once loved this girl who hair was bright red Till one day he found her in another mans bed Then one July morning these folks happened by It was this old lady, and some poor dumb guy He recognized her as the girl with red hair. And the years that had passed to her were not fair She was real fat and ugly and looked really mean And her once white teeth had turned a dull green She belittled her husband and called him a fool Who looked beaten down from all her ridicule And at this sad sight the old man rehydrated His wrinkled old face became plump and elated He had dodged a bullet and escaped a cruel fate And compared to her husband his life had been great So from that day forward he no longer felt glum The dried up old prune had become a ripe plum