its been nearly a year since i finally let myself say goodbye. all i can do is feel guilty every day, like i shouldnt have left you alone, but what more could have been done for you? i was not the person for you no matter what we thought.

it doesnt pain me like it used to, though it sometimes sends a chill down my spine, being in love again but this time for real.

every relationship has to start with me causing a girl trauma.

i dont want to die like i did in august. that was the worst ive felt since you left. can you believe you were taken so long ago? it doesnt feel like its real. i heard youd found someone, but are you still there with them? where do you live? are you still minutes away from me?

i cannot see your face again, or i may faint. i do not want or wish for any answers to these questions, as im not a part of you anymore, nor are you of me.

those memories have fizzled and risen to the sky like embers. fire. flames. what a shame, anything fire related gives me a sick feeling.

birds.

now im with the one who needed me more, who i needed more.

there is no trauma to keep us apart.

and when i kiss her, i no longer think of those days.