I'm sitting here.
I'm standing.
My forehead is sweaty, my arm drops to my side
I can't keep still. Fidgeting and carving out my anticipation with my nails into plump skin, that is begging to burn
To feel sharp and hot and draw attention, my attention, away.
It's uncomfortable to be this aware.
My cuff itches from the sweat and cheap nylon mix. Why is this all I own, Why does it fall over me like a waterfall. All downhill. Weight, that wears me. Saggy.
I glare at my feet, throw my hands into my pockets and immediately pull them out again. In, out.
She wears heels, they clack past. Him, in the leather soles, taps by. He wears boots. She's in pumps.
I wipe my palms on my trousers
Lift my wrist, pushing back the sleeve, I'm impatient. And I want everyone to know it. Him over there, I want him to know it. Her on the opposite side has to know, because I can't be the only one to know it. To carry it all. Then I might actually melt. Feel my shoes fill with water and my heavy suit to plummet, as I cascade over the edge, liquified.
Not still? I lift my head to the sky, God it's bright, dash back down again. Bobbing. Time is dragging.
It shouldn't be much longer
I turn my head from left to right, for something to do. To appear unsure of the route. Will it come steaming from around the right corner or the left.
It's so hot.
Why is it so hot? Today, really?
I lift a hand again, to comb back the stray hairs. Sweep them back into place.
Hands in pockets
Hands on hips
Arms folded
Down by my side
Foot tapping
Now pacing
The birds are singing
The sun's still blinding
Now determinedly still, until I think I hear something.
I whip my head, to the left
And in the distance I see it. Drawing nearer.
Crushing forwards.
My chest. Won't my chest be still.
I settle in tension. Now, it's unavoidable. Any minute we'll be face to face.
And what will I do then?