it is exactly 3:26 in the morning
and i am a mess
there is blood drying on my face
my nose partially crushed to the right side
a bruise darkening my left eye
my wrist appears to be swelling
possibly broken

i just stare down
at the ground
as if that will make it better
it doesn't hurt, not really
i mean, i've been in fights before
i know how to handle myself
and i know how to handle loosing

it is exactly 3:26 in the morning
and i am a mess
my posture is slumped
and my eyes are empty
completely devoid of anything that even partially resembles hope
my jaw is slack
and numb
and all i can think about
is how completely ******* stupid i was
thinking this could ever actually work
my mind is tired
and possibly broken

it is exactly 3:26 in the morning
and i am a mess
i have work in four hours
and a meeting with my boss about my chronic absence
and i need to clean my house
and make coffee
and fix my face and hand
and do laundry
and make myself look some semblance of alive
and working
and i can hear the people in the apartment above me
laughing
drunk, probably, given the current time
and i need to make my life less lonely
less ****** up
because i'm possibly broken