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Feb 2021
I stared at your eyes as you poured into mine, together we were alone and alive, so full of love and all that is good but, yes there’s a but in every love story.

You stared at my eyes as I poured into yours, giving myself to you with no choice because I wanted to become one with you but, yes there’s a but in every love story.

Let’s recapitulate, recalculate, put it on pause and really meditate upon the events that transpired, because at first we were so wired, secretly in love at the wrong **** time, fire was burning and we were just learning, really understanding what was happening, but the thing is the moment wasn’t right, we tried to make it fit but it really didn’t sit well with the universe’s plan... whatever that is.

This is for you, to understand my truth. To understand and comprehend that I owe you my truth. I can’t stop thinking about you, and that’s the truth. I’m hoping the universe delivers on our love story, because you’re the only one I love unconditionally and truthfully, it’s kind of scary. Time is going on and I’m waiting for you, but truth is I’m getting worried it might not be you. Maybe I’m fantasizing about something untrue, but I’ll always keep a place for you in my heart, in case you come back and decide which path is the one for us because I trust you with my soul, and that’s the unconditional truth.

I am in love with the pain in your eyes, it has me regretting all these lies that were enmeshed all over, entangled with power struggles and manipulation, when all I really wanted was honesty and your affection. I know I didn’t show it and my actions weren’t always what I wanted to portray, but it is what I displayed and I’m left alone licking my own wounds until they scar while you’re somewhere far, it’s so bizarre, how we collided once upon a time and now you’re out there while I’m taking lime with my tequila to mask the pain...

I believed for so long that we were meant to be, but I can’t go on thinking it will be, for this hope has me holding onto you and I can’t cope knowing, and not knowing, what you are thinking. Sometimes I reminisce and think about our kiss, fireworks around us while I was your miss, full of love and passionate, you were definitely my favourite. My inspiration and the reason for my poems and ideas, can I get a subpoena and get you to come see me? Is that a possibility? Would you promise me the world like you did before or would you run away to even the score from when you once loved me and I did not, a regret I will not forget...

Through the ups and downs, the happiness, the sadness and the madness, we have failed to make it work. I used to go berserk when things didn’t work in my favour, for I would lurk just to feel close to you... but the time for endings has arrived and deep inside it feels like suicide but I will let it slide for I won’t be defeated or succumb to negativity, and at last go on with my life blissfully, for there is so much to live for and I believe in my core of cores that beautiful things await. For you, for me, and for all; just know I would give my all for one more talk with you, oh the things I would say, I always pray it happens and maybe one day we shall cross paths again, but this pain doesn’t make me want to gain another rendezvous with you, so I’ll just leave it be. You will always be in my heart but this is the part where I say, goodbye.
Written by
Roxana
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