i have failed at much in this life

i can't fix or change the past

so,i write poems

each word is a scar,
an open wound

not only my wounds but wounds of others

it hurts to be me

it's painful living in my head at times

i've destroyed myself more than anyone ever could

you - you only see what i allow you to see

beneath that boyish grin is a war

a war that most could never understand

a war that has no victor

a war that has no end

a war that has left me mortally wounded

and hey, i didn't want this war

i never asked for it

it was waged upon me by my own depth

waged upon me by the other me

the me that cries when no one is looking

like i said, most could never understand

i wake up every single day in a fog of war

i wake up every single day just trying to win one battle at a time

i understand that this war can never be won

but i still fight

i fight to provide a boyish grin when i win a day's battle

enjoy those days with me

please don't be an enemy of war

the enemy already has the numbers on me