these words aren’t about you .

they’re about the person I let rent space
inside my heart .

they’re about the times I wished I could go back

and say to them ,

*“no
it’s okay , you can stay longer ;

I don’t care
if your payment is late ."
*

because having you there was enough.

but these words aren’t about you .

they’re for the person still hiding behind these drained eyes .

these shaking fingers .

these weak limbs .

and I’m still not sure which is better ;

to feel everything at once or nothing at all .

because sometimes it is both ,

and you are the gushing waters drowning my lungs .

and sometimes it is neither ,

and you are the words I wish I could drink from the sea .

*we always left so many of them unsaid ,
*
letting our bodies do the talking .

but now I wonder how many conversations 
we’ve had with each other when we

thought we were asleep .