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Jul 2013
Do you ever feel like you're trapped? You know - stuck somewhere or in something?
Doesn't it feel horrible, doesn't it make you mad?
Isn't the best feeling in the world; that feeling that washes over you when you finally step out of the darkness and into the light - freedom?
What if, like me, a rather unfortunate soul, the darkness - is the twisted corners and walkways of your mind?
There is no escape from your mind. From the deceiving thoughts. The conniving feelings. The cannabilism of life itself. The pain that enfolds you; embraces you; lovingly with cold hard passionate hate. The burning embers of hate spilling from the eyes of rage and the ruthless, cold slap of the slithering tongue.
While others dream of clouds and fairy dust, cotton candy and summer romances - you smother your face in a pillow and cringe at every sound, you chew at stubs of ****** finger nails and gently caress the scars that possess your arms.
For you, sleep is a rare luxury - one that comes when your crowded mind is finally at rest, those precious seconds of freedom and peace.
Though troubled soul; it does not last long. For the demons find a way through the peace and once more they are at war.
So you will seek the comfort of others. Who will pretend to understand what you feel - and take you for all you have and with it; they will disappear.  
From then you will have trust issues and be skeptical and pessimistic of every thing good that comes your way and eventually, broken soul nothing good will come any more and you shall be left alone - to face the demons again.
It will drive you mad withered soul and, you will begin to claw at the very skin you feel trapped in. You will furiously claw and tear at your flesh craving the sweet release of freedom - and it will be painful, pale soul and it will not come quick.
You will lay still in surrender and with every seeping drop of madness that adds to your angry red sea you now drown in - you will become numb, your eyelids will begin to flutter and close then with a small sigh from your battered lips you will be lead into euphoria.
Schanzé
Written by
Schanzé  Cisgender Female/South Africa
(Cisgender Female/South Africa)   
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