I hate looking at myself with no clothes on I want to have *** but most of the time I tear apart my body and talk myself out of it I even hate letting my spouse see me naked I wish I could remember my childhood I hate the things I do remember I don’t know why I always cry I want to save every one because no one saved me I’m a people pleaser because I don’t think I’m enough Sometimes I cry because I don’t want to go to sleep The nightmares never stay away for long I need everyone to love me and have a good opinion of me I don’t want to die Some days I just don’t want to exist Sometimes it’s hard to remember who I really am I’m so used being who I think everyone wants me to be Most days I hate myself I wonder how anyone else could not hate me to I resent the kids at school that bullied me I resent the family that were just as bad as the kids at school I resent not having a safe space to grow up I gave parts of myself away that I shouldn’t have because I felt wanted