It happened again
I let her down, I just realised completely
That she prefers him over me
I can see it In my own eyes, my best friend
Slowly distancing away from me.

It must be my fault that she left
After I talked to her
At this rate I don’t know what to do
Have no clue since I told the truth
And did nothing wrong.

Man it hurts, your heart just tears apart. Slowly.
You feel like a knife stabbed in your heart
There’s like this sharp pain you know?
And the knife just goes deeper and deeper
As the pain gets sharper and sharper
Until it pops out the other side and you just break down
You burst into tears
You let all your emotion show as the barricade collapses
Because you’ve been boiling it all

Yet you can’t tell anyone
You don’t know who to talk to
Who to trust
Because each time you open your mouth
No words come out, there’s a knot in your stomach
Your mind just goes blank
So you stay silent.

Then you feel as though your heart just tears
Like a peice of paper
When ripped
Or you know when you soak it in water
It looks as though it disappears
There’s nothing left behind of it
But you know it’s there
You can still feel the pain

It just cracks
Like fragile glass when you put it down to ******* the table
Or when you step too ******* a peice of ice in a frozen solid lake
Each time you put weight on your foot
The ice breaks
Slowly
Creepily
Eery
Until you suddenly fall through and start drowning in the darkness
All alone

That’s how I feel
I feel like the knife is being pushed harder and harder
Like someone is shoving it there in the first place
And each shove results a crack in my heart
Just like thin ice
Until it smashes and I feel like I’m all alone
In the void
In the emptiness
Reaching my hand out to complete and utter nothing
Just and empty darkness void
A blanket that wraps around me
Suffocating me
And I want to believe
I want to believe that there is a person I can talk to
I want to talk to my best friend and cheer her up

But each time I do…?
I get to repeat the glass smashing over and over
Gets so familiar doesn’t it
Watching that tape recorder
On loop
In front of you
Gets so familiar until you don’t feel anything
There’s just a hole where your heart is supposed to be
And you just wonder after everything you’ve done for her
Why am I still here?…