Losing you
Like realizing you have no air
Like falling into the deep cold ocean
Like being trapped in the dark
Like grabbing for life but finding nothing

A part of me wants to
To say day after day that I am fine
To just put up with an image
Even though its not what I want, I can manage
Keeping everyone happy except one
But if they are all happy, aren’t I?

Walking over to end it
Feels like an empty desert where I can't see the end
Without water, without help
I don’t think I will get through this on my own
But I have to rely on myself
The words stream through me head of how to say it
I look into his eyes for the first time in months
And every inch of me wants to turn around
To forget what I felt, to just like him again
I could never hurt him like I hurt the others
I barely can utter hello before he realizes something is wrong
Before he can ask, I have to start
Everyone said I would have to free myself to be happy
But getting there is drowning me in worry
And as I speak the words, his face loses all happiness
The last months were nice,
But now they are meaningless memories.
I cant bear to look at him any longer
I feel like a monster
And as I finish,
I cant see a light at the end of the tunnel
I just want to give him a hug and cheer him up
But I know that wouldn’t help
I just have to leave him alone
And remember that I did this to him.