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Jan 2021
I look out my window
and time stops,
but a wall separates me from you that doesn't even speak to me
God never helped me to overcome the altercations,
showed that there is no one superior to my side

Fear grows like hopelessness
I take steps back as everyone else advances
and I don't know why it might be that I fell apart
from a society so unfair that it has me trapped
in a jail, cornered in a corner
with paper bars that watch me like in a showcase

And I can't see the sky from here
I want to be happy without suffering another day until the end comes
without shedding a single tear,
tell each experience to my pages
Imagine you, me, and nobody else


And the thing is, the sea calms me down,
my soul rests in peace as my pain heals
at once
I see beyond what my eyes see
alone, I feel and I no longer control nor cry

I look out my window is walled up by bars,
I see the horizon and how my dreams go away,
my heart beats to convey its complaints,
my cage, the loneliness I feel my soul getting old

I shine but the sun became cloudy,
and they say that it is better alone than in bad company,
I just know that everything changes over time,
will it be maturity or not knowing how to take advantage of every moment

And I look at the horizon and there is nothing,
every word that your heart expresses today nothing,
and it drowns hits bottom, everything today passes fast
my pale face stayed and I wonder why

It is a punishment, I live because I continue
and if I continue it is because of you,
I am a prisoner of my freedom
I find it hard to smile
if someone listens to me...
answer me with a letter,
aloud

I don't care if I have nothing
If I never miss you
Not with emptiness and loneliness
Not even the strongest liquor
can make me stop thinking about that
So many things that I don't even know
maybe I don't know,
I am a full-time dreamer
that contemplates on the horizon...

I wonder the what, the who, the when
the why and where
Alone, to be alone in this life
Is it a gift, or a punishment?

My destiny, let me decide
I admit it, I am afraid sometimes
Ask God for me to die, you pray to him
I feel with my soul chained,
like a prisoner in a cage,
counting the hours wasted

I look out my window is walled up by bars,
I see the horizon and how my dreams go away,
my heart beats to convey your complaints,
my cage, the loneliness I feel my soul getting old
And I screamed but I lifted a huge weight that made me crawl and pity

I was drawing your gaze on a piece of paper and it no longer told me anything.
I never believed in fairies again since then, nobody knows me
I hide in shadows at night

And it is that if you shake your hand they grab your whole arm
That is why I select with caution who I want
But more than one has failed me, more than one has disappointed me
More than one are those who have been separated from my life even if it cost me
I had nightmares before I went to bed


Strange things happened to me and they all came suddenly
They were all fitted, the grated ones I endured
Just without getting into my problems, I don't want to make you feel sorry
Nor make you carry my sentence

I just know that he never fell for the unfair
That's why sometimes I can seem a bit brusque
I am looking for a future in which there is no need to mistrust
That my intimacy not only exists in this loneliness

But I'm autistic, pessimistic with no aim
If I were weaker I would swell with antidepressants.
I live my sorrows in silence if something I learned from life is that everything has a price
False poet
Written by
False poet  F/United States
(F/United States)   
61
 
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