I want to be free, I realized. That is why I long so much for freedom, for release. My chains remind me after every step, at each turn, with every clank and clatter, that I'm imprisoned. My mind and my will cloy and claw at the quickly escaping notion of restitution. I want to be free. I realized that I had to know why, for me to understand me. I hesitated a second and the window closed. Fear stalked and seized me, again I was in the clasp, yet the grasp of those shackles felt like home. The window had been open long enough for me to see who I could be (become), I was fully convinced. I walked that path for minutes and tried on those shoes. They didn't fit, they hurt my toes. Negligent. I took off in another direction, a different path. I was tired. I closed my eyes and rested a little, awhile. It all came rushing back to me. I wanted, no needed to feel it, on my skin. I praised Buddha for letting it happen. I was home. Light.