I've always thought about making a photo series of only people's hands
And sometimes I think of my own hands at different stages of my life
In childhood - filthy, bitten fingernails
That time when I was 15 and I decided I was done biting my fingernails so I painted my nails black every day for 3 weeks - only to immediately start biting them again.
The pick pick picking of the skin near my thumbs. Every partner I've ever had desperately grabbing my wrists, begging me to stop.
The actual hundreds of times my fingers had part time employment dunking in bags of molly.
Nervous hands slipping baggies and money in palms on the dance floor.
My sweaty palms when I get too high, fingers fumbling to get the damn baggie opened.
That time I sliced my thumb open when trying to learn to shave because I was too embarrassed to ask for help. I was 13.
My finger I re-sprained over and over again for 6 months doing yoga.
My fake knuckle tattoo phase - oh to be 2006 again.
My hand holding yours.
The first and only time someone bought me a ring, and I put it on my finger and felt nothing.
But I left it there.
Guess I'm fucked up/
Callouses across the top of my palm from 4 years of yanking on swan-boat pullies all summer long.
Sometimes I look at old pictures and I look at my hands and I swear to god I clenched my fists for 3 years after my father died.
I look at my hands and I think of the all the things we choose to hold on to.
And I'm always reminding myself to make sure I let go.