i should know to not make the same mistake twice.

as i sit here pondering over where i went wrong
and where i didn't do right
the familiar feeling of regret clenches my chest
threatening to suffocate me from the inside out.

as i rest my head in my hands
i ask myself
"why?"
i seek something - anything - to blame
and yet, it only ever comes back to me.

me.
and me.
and me again.

the thought echoes throughout my mind
as it has done hundreds of times before.

the problem is me.

this longing for change only comes about when i'm drowning.
i take in lungfuls of bittersweet regret.

i should know not to do it twice
but here i am
bearing the pain of the same mistake