He glanced over at the counter,
Knowing exactly what was there,

This is the only way,

It made sense.
“No...”

The thought circled--

the voice;
"yes, do it baby, nothing is as sweet, everything will be better."

Euphoria.

A deep breath
and another

and another

fury engulfed his being
knuckles hit wall

again

again
again

blood flushed through the newly opened skin

****.
Shaking

The urge was strong

Disabling
He was weak

No match for this devil.

On his feet, he walked to the counter
Reached behind the plywood

His prized casing.

Simple, silver.
Cold.

Freedom.

His hand throbbed
His mind paid no attention

I have you now

You are worthless.
You are mine.

What am I waiting for..

Trembling hands
Another breath.

Concentrate.

These were his best friends
They knew him better than he knew himself

The blades.

Exhale.
Careful.

He lifted one out

Thin
Long

Sharp

Perfect
Freedom

Twirling it in his fingers

Smiling ear to ear
DO IT

He positioned the blade

Held it steady
Pushed

Let it sink into his skin

He threw his head back
A small yelp of pain

No. This is what you wanted, remember

It will make everything okay again
The tip disappeared

The blood gushed
Steady

He dragged it

Slowly
Enjoying every second

destroying himself

bit by bit
Freedom

Almost halfway

Good. It’s deep
He dragged.

Index finger balanced on the side

His thumb grazing his skin
The blade disappeared

Given time

It would become him
right across.

his eyes shut.

The were no tears
He sat in silence

Feeling the blood swim

Instantly.
Dripping down his arm

Onto the floor

AGAIN
the taunt continued

There wasn’t anything left in him

You aren’t worth my time.
Use some of that fat energy, and finish the job

What will they think?

Nobody will miss you
Nobody cares

They’ll be glad to see you’re gone.

The blood didn’t stop
It wouldn’t

This would be the last time.

He picked up the blade.
Again.

It sunk into his flesh like butter

This is for the best
I just can’t

Push

Drag
This wasn’t about self control

This was the end.
Freedom.

A wimper

"Are you happy?"
"Are you?"

A constant battle

Dizziness.
He stood up.

Turned the taps on to hot.

Starred into his own eyes.
The ones he hated so much

The very reason he couldn’t go on
His legs gave out

It seemed like a dream

Crashing.
He hit the floor.

It was over.

Freedom.