I can’t do this anymore.
I seriously fucking can’t.
I love you, but you’re completely ripping my body from my soul.
I cannot deal with you, or someone like you.
There is no room in my life.
And every ounce of guilt within me me building up
Boiling over
In anger
Fear
Confusion
You lie
You pretend
Nothings okay.
It was never okay.
You can’t pretend everything fine always, because if you do, everything pops from it’s seams.
Bad shit happened to you.
Unspeakable crimes, that you should never’ve had to go through
But they did
And you let them consume you
Depression.
Cutting.
Suicide Idealization.
Suicide Attempts.
All for what?
To be worse off, than when you started?
To literally depend on a sharp piece of metal.
To allow yourself to slip away from everything?
Friends.
Family.
Lovers.
Nobody will be there for you.
We’ve all tried.
We’ve been there.
I’m not giving up,
you made me quit.
I do NOTHING but help, love, and care
and ALL you do is shit on everything
I can’t be called
a bitch
or stupid
ignorant
I cant be asked
"what are you talking about"
or scolded with
" I never said that!!!"
again.
I need to give in
but I’m attached.
and scared.
for you
for me
for life
for everything
terrified actually.
For If I walk, will you crumble?
or would be be stronger?
I don’t think I’d be able to handle either.
I want you to need me
but I can’t be needed.
There’s so many things I need to say to you
There on the tip of my tounge
but they’ll never escape