I picked up all of your pieces
Helped you heal
Listened to all the stories of your ex
All of what you admired of her
I answered your call at 3am because all you could think of is her and you just had to get it off your chest.

I have you my ear, my care, my heart.
You came to me and pretended to care
You said sweet nothings
Always knew the right things to lure me in
You know I’d go out of my way any day for you

I’d speed to your house because you were sad
I cleaned your room when you had no motivation to move
I accompanied you when you wanted to show people you had a girl

I go on a vacation for 2weeks plus quarantine so a total of 4 weeks
I called you regularly
Texted you everyday
Even though before I left for my trip you ditched me repeatedly
Then said sorry and continued the sweet nothings
The talk of a future with me
And repeated everyday that you weren’t ready for a relationship

I listened and never said anything rude or mean
I was willing to wait for however long it took
I never pushed
I always asked if I was overstepping
If we were still within our boundaries

I come back from my trip
So beyond excited to see you
You drunkenly tell me you love me
I never mentioned it to you because sober words mean more but it must’ve been on your mind at some point
You call me at 5 in the morning
You tell me you want nothing to do with me
You want to go on a few adventures
You tell me about being at a new girls house for the past few days
You ask for advice
I give you all I have
And still tell you it’s ok to call anytime you need something
While I sit here
Completely heartbroken

I sat next to you for hours
Listened to your hurt for weeks, months even
Now you’re smiling
Happy
Sure you have your bad days
But on those bad days you still turn to me and unload all your pain onto me

Anytime I wanted to tell you my pain and heavy thoughts you dismissed them
You’d say awe :(
I asked to call you because I just needed to talk to someone
You tell me you’re busy
You were at her house
I was on the back burner again
No you want nothing to do with me with no real explanation

I gave you my all
I was convenient for you
Now here I am
So hurt
But still justifying your actions and words to everyone

I love you and never told you
But you knew.
That’s why I was easy for you to use.
That’s why I’m sitting here crying and hyperventilating trying to find where I went wrong.
And your out with her not even 12 hours after telling me you didn’t want to talk to me.

I’m so sorry
But if you need anything I will still take the punches you have to throw
I will still hurt for you and take your pain away
And I will still justify you and blame myself

I’m sorry