Because of you, I know too much

You ****** out my innocence with your maniacal way
Twisted my mind to get me to stay
I believed you which distanced me from reality
The truth you spewed was dripping in brutality
I listened and adjusted, everyday, more and more
I didn’t realize doing so was opening the door
To new demons, ones that taught me not to trust
Now I can’t have fun anymore, I can’t even feel lust
We haven’t talked in two years, but I still jump through hoops
My brain is sick and dark, it’s stuck in destructive loops
It’s really sad what I lost, the part of me that could surrender
I can’t open up my heart, it scares me to be tender
I push people away because i don’t want them to be like you
I wish we never crossed paths, I don’t know what to do