sometimes in the dark of 1am2ammidnight i sit alone in my car under a purple sky chest heaving under the weight of panic arm bleeding from letting some of it out eyes wide open knowing if i could just be thinner everything would be okay if i can just be hungry a little longer everything will be normal and maybe he will want me but he isn't the issue here. and i know that even if the light can one day flit through my bones through my skin even if water can run down my cheekbones like floods over a cliff even if fingers can hide in the ridges of my ribcage i know that it wont help and i will still be alone at 1am2ammidnight in my car eyes wide with panic