I wish to be better this Christmas,
to own what I do and say
the decision was mine
this late December night
to lay where I want to lay

in his arms would be preferable,
to stay with him i bet
but the bed I have made is in the ground
where my sins and I have met

right now I must face the truth
and let the mud flow on me
I want to be renewed
but somethings are just meant to be

to hurt or to hide
a question for the ages
I wonder what's meant for me
beyond the pearly gates and cages

so here we are my love, I now must depart,
see you on the other side
you will always have my heart

what's done has been forgiven
your secrets that I hold are  mine
I swear not to tell a soul
of that late late night