I want to be me

One of the hardest things in my life is being me
As a child it’s like running so easy, I worry
Of nothing and laughter comes easily,
Then like a bean sprout, change begins to happen,
I am no longer a child, but a juvenile
The present and future or now on my shoulder,
But the present is worst.

As an eight year old child I once said
I looked forward to being an adult
As I would get to do as I please,
But my reality is the pressure of my parents
The stress to study, to now force myself to make
Time for others so I don't lose friends,
Being called 'boring' or 'anti-social' for just wanting to be alone,
Being told a lie by peer pressure that "everyone is doing it"
Now I am grieving, I have loss myself to my surrounding
I want to be me again.

Now I am Exhausted I no longer want to care,
I want the feeling of drowning to pass so I can breathe
I want the pressure placed upon me by
My surrounding leave my shoulders
I want my present to make me happy,
So the future is not feared,
I want to smile and it’s not force
I want to be me.